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Post by westender on Oct 23, 2010 17:39:51 GMT -1
Noted on another post, the fastest thing on the planet, well Do you know what the lightest thing on the planet is? No it is not a gas, It is , A man's Willie, because, It only takes a thought to lift it !! ...har, anna frying pan to lie it back doon again
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Post by ozneil on Oct 23, 2010 19:17:14 GMT -1
Hi Hunny Bunny
This better??
A stark naked, drunken Australian woman,
jumped into a vacant taxi in down town New Delhi.
The Indian driver was immediately beside himself
and just kept on staring at the woman.
He made no attempt to start the cab.
“What's wrong with you mate,
haven't you ever seen a naked white woman before?”
“I'll not be staring at you lady,
I am telling you that would not be proper where I am coming from".
"Well if you’re not bloody staring at me mate, what are you doing then?"
"Well, I am telling you, I am thinking to myself
where is this lady keeping the money to be paying me with."
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Post by Sir Henry Rawlinson on Oct 24, 2010 5:49:04 GMT -1
My Mrs says I am immature and that we have to set aside some real time to deal with this problem
Like that's going to happen in Conker season !
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Post by notanimby on Oct 24, 2010 6:30:11 GMT -1
A guy goes intae a chemist shop, points at a packet on the counter and asks "what's that? The chemist says "askit" Guy bends doon tae packet and says "whut are yoo?"
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Post by funnybunny on Oct 24, 2010 10:40:39 GMT -1
Funny Bunny, get a fu**ing grip, don't start messing on this site with people's humour, if you don't like it don't read it you sound like P** from another place, stay there if you are easily offended or are offended on behalf or some. OOOOOO!! ;D Knickers in a twist there! How can I not read it if I don't like it - that's just impossible. I'm not easily offended but seems like you are - and offensive and aggressive!
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Post by heidie on Oct 24, 2010 11:59:44 GMT -1
A Greenok guy goes intae a chemist shop, points at a packet on the counter and asks "what's that? The chemist says "askit" Guy bends doon tae packet and says "whut are yoo?" Ye missed oot ra importint bit Notty....hehehehehe... Noo awaitin the usual stoopit respose....
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Post by bormes on Oct 24, 2010 16:04:44 GMT -1
funnybunny, xxxxx
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Post by notanimby on Oct 24, 2010 17:22:05 GMT -1
wae that poor sense of hyoomur he's on his todd
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 24, 2010 17:32:07 GMT -1
How can I not read it if I don't like it - that's just impossible. I'm not easily offended but seems like you are - and offensive and aggressive! There's a wee clue in the thread title, UnfunnyBunny If you're prone to a fit of the PC vapours, you should probably avoid it and let the rest of us enjoy it in peace
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Post by ozneil on Oct 24, 2010 20:03:14 GMT -1
Ok Hunny Bunny Ive done race and sexism how's about religion'
This one brings in both religion and race.
Two roofers, one a weejie ( thats the race bit) working on a roof when the weejie derops his hammer through an open skylight. There is the tinkling sound of breaking porcelain,
Mate to weejie "better get down fast and get your hammer before the priest finds you have broken on ot their statues ( first religious bit).
Weejie goes down and comes back wilth hammer.
Mate asks "get caught?"
Weejie "aye ra priestie in his nightshirt had goat it. I asked if I hud broken onnything. Priestie said 'Nae worries mite s'only ra urinal' I didnae like tae ask whit a urinal wiz coz am nae a cafflick and dinna ken bout thon religion things" (That was second religious bit)
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Post by ozneil on Oct 24, 2010 21:34:23 GMT -1
Hi Hunny Bunny Another relgious one Moses comes down from the mountain after 30 days hard negotiations with God over the Commandments. He addresses the Israelites "My Brothers (women in these days were kept bare foot & pregnant in the tat, things have deteriorated since then) your chosen delegate has had some very meanful & if I may say so successful negotiations with the Management over their commandments and have reached a successful far reaching conclusion. Firstly the Good News.. I have negotiated, successfully, a reduction in the number of commandments from 33 to 10!!!! But like everything there was some compromise. I regret to inform you that adultery is still in " Any of these raise a slight smile Hunny ?
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Post by westender on Oct 24, 2010 22:38:49 GMT -1
OK youse guys, I suggest youse & wese all leave poor funnybunny alone - at least till the poor sowel gets a bittofannunderstandin... OK?
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Post by notanimby on Oct 25, 2010 18:32:59 GMT -1
This girl came up to me today and said she recognised me from vegetarian club.
I was confused, I'd never met herbivore.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To get back to the first shoe shop we went in three fekkin hours ago.
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Post by ozneil on Oct 25, 2010 19:10:07 GMT -1
I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
There is great need for a sarcasm font.
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Post by Sir Henry Rawlinson on Oct 26, 2010 5:34:23 GMT -1
Comedy stars Dawn French and Lenny Henry divorce on the grounds of his "unreasonable behaviour".
An inside source says that the vicious swine once suggested that Dawn only have three pies.
Disgrace.
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