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Post by notanimby on Feb 12, 2014 18:34:37 GMT -1
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2014 21:39:23 GMT -1
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2014 2:36:52 GMT -1
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Post by Sir Henry Rawlinson on Mar 5, 2014 19:42:10 GMT -1
Deep in the African jungle, a safari was camped for the night. In the darkness, distant drums began a relentless throbbing that continued until dawn. The safari members were disturbed, but the guide reassured them: "Drums good. When drums stop, very bad." Every night the drumming continued, and every night the guide reiterated, "Drums good. When drums stop, VERY bad." This continues for several days until one morning the drumming suddenly stops and all the natives panic and run screaming. The man asks the guide what's the matter? The guide looking very frightened says: "When drums stop, VERY, VERY bad," he said. "Why is it bad?" asked a member of the safari. "Because when drums stop, bass solo !"
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Post by notanimby on Mar 5, 2014 19:44:15 GMT -1
Deep in the African jungle, a safari was camped for the night. In the darkness, distant drums began a relentless throbbing that continued until dawn. The safari members were disturbed, but the guide reassured them: "Drums good. When drums stop, very bad." Every night the drumming continued, and every night the guide reiterated, "Drums good. When drums stop, VERY bad." This continues for several days until one morning the drumming suddenly stops and all the natives panic and run screaming. The man asks the guide what's the matter? The guide looking very frightened says: "When drums stop, VERY, VERY bad," he said. "Why is it bad?" asked a member of the safari. "Because when drums stop, bass solo !" The sound of distant drums, wiz it Jim Reeves perchance? |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2014 21:18:03 GMT -1
Deep in the African jungle, a safari was camped for the night. In the darkness, distant drums began a relentless throbbing that continued until dawn. The safari members were disturbed, but the guide reassured them: "Drums good. When drums stop, very bad." Every night the drumming continued, and every night the guide reiterated, "Drums good. When drums stop, VERY bad." This continues for several days until one morning the drumming suddenly stops and all the natives panic and run screaming. The man asks the guide what's the matter? The guide looking very frightened says: "When drums stop, VERY, VERY bad," he said. "Why is it bad?" asked a member of the safari. "Because when drums stop, bass solo !" HAH! Good wan  |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2014 21:19:13 GMT -1
Deep in the African jungle, a safari was camped for the night. In the darkness, distant drums began a relentless throbbing that continued until dawn. The safari members were disturbed, but the guide reassured them: "Drums good. When drums stop, very bad." Every night the drumming continued, and every night the guide reiterated, "Drums good. When drums stop, VERY bad." This continues for several days until one morning the drumming suddenly stops and all the natives panic and run screaming. The man asks the guide what's the matter? The guide looking very frightened says: "When drums stop, VERY, VERY bad," he said. "Why is it bad?" asked a member of the safari. "Because when drums stop, bass solo !" The sound of distant drums, wiz it Jim Reeves perchance? Jim Reeds more like.  |
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Post by ozneil on Mar 18, 2014 22:07:22 GMT -1
 Now that's is an idea!!!!>> Joe passed away. His will provided £ 30,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend. "Well, I'm sure Joe would be pleased," she said. "I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "How much did this really cost?" "All of it," said Helen. "Thirty thousand. Helen answered. "The funeral was £ 6,500. I donated £ 500 to the church. The wake, food and drinks were another £ 500. The rest went for the memorial stone." Jody computed quickly. "£22,500 for a memorial stone? My God, how big is it?!" "Two and a half carats Now that's is an idea!!!!>> Joe passed away. His will provided £ 30,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend. "Well, I'm sure Joe would be pleased," she said. "I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "How much did this really cost?" "All of it," said Helen. "Thirty thousand. Helen answered. "The funeral was £ 6,500. I donated £ 500 to the church. The wake, food and drinks were another £ 500. The rest went for the memorial stone." Jody computed quickly. "£22,500 for a memorial stone? My God, how big is it?!" "Two and a half carats
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2014 23:22:53 GMT -1
So good you said it twice? Poor Joe. Not only is he pan-breid, he hung out with all the wrong women.  |
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Post by ozneil on Mar 18, 2014 23:40:18 GMT -1
Gees so I did lol
Like Kevin Rudd's speech on the economy.
He asked Mcterny to write him a 10 minute speech on the economy and also blasting Tony Abbott.
He read the speech at a large gathering and noticed about half way thru the audience was getting restive and the speech was running on . It lasted 20 minutes instead of 10
After the speech he ripped McTerny a new one for it lasting so long and losing audiences attention.
Mcterny said "I gave you it in duplicate!"
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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2014 23:17:26 GMT -1
And again, HOW many degrees of separation? McTernan (who's back here unfortunately) is currently engaged in the YES/NO debate on Twitter with a certain Mr R A Ross. The former's coming across like a right tw*t. |
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Post by ozneil on Mar 20, 2014 1:33:53 GMT -1
And again, HOW many degrees of separation? McTernan (who's back here unfortunately) is currently engaged in the YES/NO debate on Twitter with a certain Mr R A Ross. The former's coming across like a right tw*t. lol Your bad luck is our good luck He is a twit he came out here to bolster Labour's chances and promptly became a laughing stock. His misogyny speech being a case in point.. Speech may have been good in UK but was delivered to the wrong guy!!!! If he had known anything about the local Pollies he would have realised that. His target was a guy happily married to Margie for years with 3 daughters, a lady chief of staff & a lady deputy... its not rocket science. No wonder he was laughed out of a job. He left shortly after Labour's defeat With him on the "No" vote how can you lose??? |
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Post by ozneil on Mar 24, 2014 22:59:46 GMT -1
Queensland Humour ( For P Humor)
(It's an oldie but a goodie. If you're from Ipswich, change it to Inala. If you're from Inala, change it to Woodridge. If you're from Woodridge, change it to Inala. If you're not from Australia, replace Ipswich with whatever city or suburb you hate.)
An Ipswich girl went down to the Centrelink to get her family allowance.
The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?"
"Ten," she replied.
"What are their names?" he asked.
"Wayne,Wayne,Wayne,Wayne,Wayne,Wayne,Wayne,Wayne,Wayne, and Wayne," she answered.
"They're all named Wayne ?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?"
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call "Wayne" and they all come running in."
"And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?"
"I just say, 'Wayne, come eat your dinner'," she answered.
"But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked.
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!"
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Post by Deleted on Mar 24, 2014 23:11:53 GMT -1
Queensland Humour ( For P Humor) ( It's an oldie but a goodie. If you're from Ipswich, change it to Inala. If you're from Inala, change it to Woodridge. If you're from Woodridge, change it to Inala. If you're not from Australia, replace Ipswich with whatever city or suburb you hate.) An Ipswich girl went down to the Centrelink to get her family allowance. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?" "Ten," she replied. "What are their names?" he asked. "Wayne,Wayne,Wayne,Wayne,Wayne,Wayne,Wayne,Wayne,Wayne, and Wayne," she answered. "They're all named Wayne ?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?" "Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call "Wayne" and they all come running in." "And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?" "I just say, 'Wayne, come eat your dinner'," she answered. "But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked. "Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!" Wayne Wayne Wayne Wayne Wayne Wayne Wayne Wayne Wayne and err.... Wayne all have fathers. So where the flying fuck are they and why are they let off the hook? |
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Post by ozneil on Mar 24, 2014 23:27:31 GMT -1
 Sic biscuitus disintegratum. PS Quidquid latine dictum, altum videtur.
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Sic biscuitus disintegratum.