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Post by Deleted on Mar 26, 2014 18:35:08 GMT -1
Ah, cod Latin..  Attachments:
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Post by ozneil on Mar 26, 2014 18:41:00 GMT -1
A man walks into a market followed by his ten-year-old son. The kid is spinning a 20 cent coin in the air and catching it between his teeth.
As they walk through the market someone bumps into the boy at just the wrong moment and the coin goes straight into his mouth and lodges in his throat.
He immediately starts choking and going blue in the face and Dad starts panicking, shouting and screaming for help.
A middle-aged, fairly unnoticeable man in a grey suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the market reading his newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, he looks up, puts his coffee cup down on the saucer, neatly folds his newspaper and places it on the counter. He gets up from his seat and makes his unhurried way across the market.
Reaching the boy, the man carefully takes hold of the kid's balls and squeezes gently but firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the 20 cent piece, which the man catches in his free hand. Releasing the boy, the man hands the coin to the father and walks back to his seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no lasting ill-effects, the father rushes over to the man and starts effusively thanking him saying: "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before - it's fantastic - Are you a doctor?"
"Oh, good heavens, no," the man replies, "I work for the Australian Taxation Office".
(Aside: clearly this is not a true story. A real ATO employee would have kept the money.)
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Post by ozneil on Mar 26, 2014 18:44:38 GMT -1
Ah, cod Latin.. Nothing like a classical education  |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 26, 2014 22:18:59 GMT -1
Ah, cod Latin.. Nothing like a classical education I've never quite got why Latin's now off the curriculum in all but the private fee-paying schools. Even the most basic understanding of it sets you up for life, in terms of understanding not only English but many other European languages that have their root in it. Seems now, hereabouts, the only ones that need it are doctors, vets and.....lawyers. I think we ALL need it, frankly. |
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Post by notanimby on Mar 27, 2014 6:34:23 GMT -1
Nothing like a classical education I've never quite got why Latin's now off the curriculum in all but the private fee-paying schools. Even the most basic understanding of it sets you up for life, in terms of understanding not only English but many other European languages that have their root in it. Seems now, hereabouts, the only ones that need it are doctors, vets and.....lawyers. I think we ALL need it, frankly. I agree, we were forced to do Latin - I hated it - as you would expect teenagers to do My Latin teacher was ( with hindsight a lovely woman) a veritable cornucopia of stereotypes Jean Brodie -that hectoring manner Barbara Woodhouse - she was a dead ringer for her Church of Scotland Ministers wife - she actually was tweed skirts and brogues - never without and drove a 3 litre Rover - like the ones Thatcher and her ministers used to cut about in. She told me exactly what you said above - took me 10 years to realise she was right and I regret now not taking it further - not as an academic qualification but just as an interest - if she was still alive I would have tracked her down and told her But I definitely picked up enough to be able to read and grasp the written word in many European languages that have Latin roots - strange thing is I do it sub-conciously Mrs Kerr, you were an inspiration |
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Post by bormes on Mar 27, 2014 19:44:03 GMT -1
Nice honest words wee man!!!!
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Post by ozneil on Mar 27, 2014 23:02:07 GMT -1
Managers and Engineers
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realises he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below says, "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude."
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "Everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below says, "You must be a manager".
"I am," replies the balloonist, "But how did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise, which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."
To Bloody True
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Post by Deleted on Mar 28, 2014 1:47:32 GMT -1
Nice honest words wee man!!!! I second that emotion Had to smile at your description of Mrs Kerr, Nota. I had a teacher exactly like her but in maths, not Latin. I still see my Latin teacher cutting about the West End, one Alastair Fulton, you might know him, Bormes. An interesting character: while teaching Classics he had another life in the performing arts. Very droll man, great sense of humour, and like you, Nota, I thank him for his wisdom that I too didn't realise until much later in life. At the moment language teaching in Glasgow state schools is focussing on Spanish and Mandarin, which makes a lot of sense in terms of global usage and preparedness for trading in those huge markets. But I do think Latin should be compulsory for at least the first two years of secondary school. It's very very far from the 'dead' language it's now portrayed as, IMV anyway. Educating our kids for the world of work is all good and well but a bit of understanding of classics is about more than just that. |
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Post by notanimby on Mar 29, 2014 16:24:54 GMT -1
I loved Latin, I was the only student in my year who loved Latin and the study of that wonderful language but I wasn't allowed to continue it in 2nd year. Latin was only for those who were high achievers in Maths and therefore who could go on to study for the sciences leading to medicine, etc. I was denied a subject that I was passionate about because my then Head Teacher believed no one who was not studying for the sciences of meds, vet and law, should be allowed to study Latin. It was the language of the 'elite' and I wasn't in that group. Ach.... Slightly different in my school.... We still had streaming in our comprehensive, in second year the two top classes ( actually just one divided alphabetically into two) got Latin for that whole year - we were then allowed to pick it as a subject, at end of second year to study for O grade and H grade. There was no distinction made on choice of future career, although anyone who fancied being a lawyer was advised to study it to at least O grade pass |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 29, 2014 17:36:03 GMT -1
Exactly the same at my school Nota, compulsory for Sec 1 and 2 and then a choice with no distinctions made. I chose to do it to O grade. Gilly, sounds like your Heidie wasn't exactly 'enlightened' or maybe just to do with the massive change of attitude to education that happened to the generation 10-15 years younger than me.. I think it's certainly true Latin's now *restricted* to those who've bought their way into a career in the professions  Very short-sighted and narrow view, IMO. |
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Post by peony on Mar 29, 2014 19:22:17 GMT -1
We had Latin in my high school, but only for seniors. Miss. Bernice Beutner retired before I could take it. She also taught German.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 29, 2014 20:49:55 GMT -1
We had Latin in my high school, but only for seniors. Miss. Bernice Beutner retired before I could take it. She also taught German. Miss Bernice Beutner, what a fab name! German/Eastern European in origin I imagine? At our school 'modern language' teachers were separate from 'classics' teachers. I did German too, but found French, (and latterly Spanish and Italian) much easier to pick up from the early Latin lessons. Constantly struggle with Catalan though. Some words you can take a flying guess at via rudimentary Latin but not so much as the other southern Med lingos |
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Post by notanimby on Mar 29, 2014 20:59:13 GMT -1
We had Latin in my high school, but only for seniors. Miss. Bernice Beutner retired before I could take it. She also taught German. Miss Bernice Beutner, what a fab name! German/Eastern European in origin I imagine? At our school 'modern language' teachers were separate from 'classics' teachers. I did German too, but found French, (and latterly Spanish and Italian) much easier to pick up from the early Latin lessons. Constantly struggle with Catalan though. Some words you can take a flying guess at via rudimentary Latin but not so much as the other southern Med lingos I done French for 4 years, never achieved anything, my whole class failed the o grade prelim. I can struggle with very rudimentary speech and read a bit, but writing it is just a no-no As for the accent, forget it..... |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 29, 2014 21:08:59 GMT -1
I don't have fluency in German, French, Latin or Spanish either, Nota, just enough to get by in conversation, is all. Not that I meet too many Ancient Romans these days....  I could no longer write in any of them without a refresher course either. But oddly, I can comprehend the written lingos, not precisely of course, but enough to get the gist. I think maybe we should start kids off in primary school, I do recall everyone in all our language classes in secondary being embarrassed and reluctant to do the spoken word thing. Awkward teens and all that. Quelle surprise! |
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Post by notanimby on Mar 29, 2014 21:46:34 GMT -1
I don't have fluency in German, French, Latin or Spanish either, Nota, just enough to get by in conversation, is all. Not that I meet too many Ancient Romans these days.... I could no longer write in any of them without a refresher course either. But oddly, I can comprehend the written lingos, not precisely of course, but enough to get the gist. I think maybe we should start kids off in primary school, I do recall everyone in all our language classes in secondary being embarrassed and reluctant to do the spoken word thing. Awkward teens and all that. Quelle surprise! Think that was because the expected you to talk in some cod stereotype accent, the type of accent no one in the country itself spoke like It would mean, in reverse, that we all talk like something out of brigadoon Trying to get kids to sound like a deranged inspector clouseau didn't really work |
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